**Montanna's note to God**

WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING ? PLEASE HELP ME IF YOU CAN~!!

Please is anybody out their in this world that is willing & able to help me, like a ADA law attorney ? I am so frustrated as nobody seems to want to move in my direction. I am praying and I am trusting in God he will put together the right people but I feel so alone. Two years I have lost my girls and for what not because I use or abuse drugs & not because I am a lush and misuse alcohol & not because I have abused or left my girls unattended but you know what for simply because I have Aspergers and the department (Believes I have a issue with communicating with children I raised and understand more because I live with autism as well plus they just got it in for me because their not willing to be educated on autism~!! ) I have done NOTHING and I WAS A EXCELLENT MOM raising my girls in church, teaching them morals and good thing's to live by, setting a example in front of them the way a decent person should be~!! Why oh Lord, should I be singled out and picked on so harshly ? I have not seen my girls in 6 month's, did you all hear 6 month's I have been intentionally kept from my children~!!  This is parental alienating them from me so much my youngest asked my oldest daughter Amber 26 "Did momma die" now isn't that the way our system should be ? Yes I have a adult daughter 26 yrs. old I raised Alone. I am just beside myself in how they "get away with it all" you know why, because NOBODY has the gut's to stand up to them this is why~!! To anyone but especially to someone with "special needs" as myself & my girls just ripping us apart like they have has surely caused mental anguish within. The torment I have lived it's a nightmare I surely could have never made up, like a trip to Sea world my oldest flew out from Seattle and we had a hearing and the social workers had decided that my oldest could take the girls but I could not go, but then in fear of Amber letting me see the girls they put a older lady in charge to go with her just to make sure, my youngest was so excited about Sea world she came to me and said "Momma we get to go to Sea world but I'm sorry you can't come" now if this isn't cruel, oh but that's just the start of thing's. I begged to see my girls for Christmas, birthday's, any holidays but never in 2 yrs. did one such a visit take place. Then there was this visit I was en-route to and I had already stopped @ Wendy's and picked up food for them but was called driving on the way to the visit and told there is going to be "no visit today" when I questioned why he said "Just because" and hung up so I drove back home sobbing but they expect me to call 24 hrs. in advance if I was to not come to a visit. Then now 6 mos. without seeing them and this isn't the first time I was kept 3 mos. once before so a total of 9 month's in 2 years almost half of the time and again I am no mass murderer, nor did I ever hurt my girls, no alcohol or drug problems. ALL BECAUSE I AM MILDLY AUTISTIC & THEY JUST DON'T LIKE ME PLAIN & SIMPLE~!! THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE ??   
I went into the hospital for 3 day's for some mild depression, kicked out with no case plan and 2 yrs. later my children are still gone talk about a cruel & evil world. They knew I had a awesome relationship with my girls so they took and abused what mattered most my dignity as a parent, my relationship that meant so much to us all and separated all 3 of us in 3 different directions, yes neither child has ever been placed together and "if" they get a visit they pick the younger one up to sit on a bench & watch the older one play a basketball game now that's a fair & healthy visit for the siblings. I became homeless & was forced to live in my car for 5 months due to them who cared nothing for me or my children because with our broken state of California my kids bring in funds, funds for them to keep their job's~!! My own attorney even stated "They will reinstate your visit's because it's federal funding." Yes sadly like the bible say's money is the root of all evil .  So very, very sad human lives are used in this way and all the while my poor innocent children have been "victims" of the system, being abused in so many way's that they will emotionally carry the scars for good as the two same loving, caring & sheltered girls will come back very different~!! They have been even kept from family as my parent's and my oldest daughter have both tried countless times to get them. My parent's house was checked not once but twice and then my father was made to have fingerprints done twice because he has rheumatoid arthritis so is so bad his hands are crippled badly & it was very painful & even after that they claimed my parent's didn't fill out proper papers & dropped it. Then even though my oldest lived with me her entire life until 24 with her sister's they claim she can't handle their "special needs" even though she was so good with her sister's all their born lives, just another excuse because they want to make sure I never see or touch my girls again, HORRIFIC I say & this is the truth~!!   So all I can do is pray to my Holy merciful, loving, caring God and hope it is his will to reunite my family someday soon and as he promises to bring something out of evil for his good. 
One last thing "What better way to control a mother than to take full control of her children" this is the mind thinking of social services in my case for sure~!!