to a department as social services to play the role of ultimate controller of ones life as myself.As Christ suffered so I must as well as I have already received the key's to the awesome kingdom I anxiously await. They may think their in all control but that is not the way my God assures my heart it will be. I am missing my children terribly but as the county testified since it's been 8 months she has not seen me they said we figured they would forget her. Well they won't for sure as I know I poured my life,body & soul into raising those girls so they now belong to Jesus and he will see the right thing is done despite all the wicked efforts they have made to alienate & turn my children against me but it will never happen. I sleep peacefully knowing my life is in the hands of my awesome creator & he promises if you endured a fiery trial you gain the crown of life and I have. It's sad a man of such authority on the bench that seems to have some compassion for me as a mother still allows the county so much control to continue alienating me from my precious girls despite my youngest packing everyday saying my momma is coming to get me as testified on 6-13-11 by the social worker how could such a human being God created act in this manner, simply because he chooses not to follow WWJD but I continue my prayers for them all. I will continue my hunger strike & walk in front of the court house with my hand made sign until justice prevails as my children nor do I deserve to be thrown away as if we meant nothing to society as one lady stopped Friday & said "Well gee if you have a drug or alcohol problem they roll out the red carpet & even pay for rehab & if you abuse your child you can even get help with anger management & then get the child back, but for a woman as you with a God given mild disability they don't even offer reunification services, this is nuts." So yes this is how the story went in a nutshell I was ordered by the court (Which I was told was illegal) to take 2 psy. evals. & was diagnosed with Asperger's (High functioning on the autistic spectrum.) I was 46 yrs. old but I had raised all 3 of my girls 27, 14, & 12 my entire life even through 2 divorces & awarded FULL CUSTODY in each divorce but because I wanted help for depression I got a 3-DAY hospital stay & 2 YEARS & 2 MONTHS of losing my girls simply as one county supervisor stated to me in a e-mail "Linda it's evident the county has got it in for you." Now on my 6TH LAWYER that none can't fight this case because it's a CIVIL LAWSUIT & I will never give up fighting to find a civil lawyer to help me & my girls. I spoke to 2 women in front of the court house who were both in foster care as children & both shared the psychological damage & abuse they suffered while in care has impacted their lives as grown women. If this commissioner would act like the man he should behind the bench my case would of been long over with a long time ago I believe. God please grant him the knowledge a man of power behind the bench he should have on behalf of my case because you know I do not dislike him he just needs your help with granting authority over my case~!! My oldest has been fighting from the start to gain custody of them if they won't return them to me but the children's attorney had the last word in the courtroom & she stated no need to worry about the interstate transfer of the youngest to another state as their is no family member @ this time who wants her. Lie,lie,lie is all these people seem to do as Amber the eldest child has been fighting since the beginging. So the bottom line if my family gets them they know I will gain access eventually so if they don't go with a family member the mother will NEVER have access or contact with them until there 18 because the county BOTH spoke of keeping the children in their placement's until the age of 18. Then they also fought so hard to not allow the doctor I am seeing
( AUTISM SPECIALIST OF 30 YRS.) to be apart of any visits so as always they remain "ONE-SIDED" so they can continue to right up negative report's as they have for the past 2 yrs. so no matter how hard I try it will never be good enough for the county of SAN DIEGO~!! Corrupt system & sadly it will forever remain a corrupt system but someday they will all answer to their creator~!! They tried to make me believe my children have said "I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH MY MOTHER." I will never, ever believe their lies from the darkness~!! As court ended the social worker & supervisor grinned & smiled as if they had won the lottery but as she approached me in the hallway to discuss a visit before she could finish the sentence I said "HELL IS A VERY HOT PLACE"~!! and I went home & prayed for all of them. Last note my children are all flying into my parent's for a 4th of July a family reunion and as my attorney pleaded what is this mother going to do if she was allowed to go for a few hours the first worker said "It would confuse the children after not seeing her in 8 month's." & the second for my oldest said "There is great concern if the mother was to cut on herself or become very volatile we don't think the grandparent's or adult sibling could control the mother & this would frighten the children & I also believe it would confuse the children as well." My attorney said so basically since she has not seen the girls in 8 months you basically just want the girls to forget about their mom." They replied "Well yes." My attorney said "and this is your ploy to forfeit her parental rights as well I assume ? "Uh I'm not sure one responded." To end this for reader's that don't know the whole story I am just a helpless mom that has had her children kidnapped legally according to the county & alienated away from them almost a year just because I was diagnosed with Aspergers @ 46 yrs. old ONLY AFTER the girls were taken now I have been CONDEMNED to parent them again for the last 2 yrs. & 2 mos. they are now 12 & 14 and both have autism as well BUT I RAISED another daughter who is 27 YRS. OLD with no autism & I have a awesome bond with her as well. This is the honest truth as I am a very dedicated christian women. Please pray for my family as GOD is STILL THE ONE IN TOTAL CONTROL & he promises I will come out of this trial better then when I went in so my hope & faith is there and I have grown in character, grace, faith, patience & love so this is not all in vain God has his ultimate plan & I am saved & ready for heaven and he loves my girls far more then I so he will get his glory out of all of this. God bless you all & thanks for your prayers.
We must suffer as Christ has suffered ~!!
