Sunday, November 6, 2011

~SHE BELONGS TO JESUS~ Preemie with a purpose

                                    Precious child belongs to God.

  This is my youngest daughter her name is being withheld due to state's policy while in protective custody from me. I am just a mom who was diagnosed with Aspergers @ 46 yrs. of age and went into the hospital for depression for 3-days. It has now been 2 1/2 yrs. later and she is still gone. She turns 13 yrs. old Dec 11,11 and is greatly loved & missed. This child came home to me on Christmas day 12-11-98 weighing 4 pounds after a 12-day stay in ICU @ Santa Barbara's cottage hospital and was a Christmas blessing. Her tiny hand print forever stays on the wall of the ICU unit with many others. I am not bitter at social services for they do what they feel is right, sadly they don't understand autism very well as I have tried to share as much info as possible to better inform them. My little girl was on a GF/CF diet that helped her recover in many ways from the biomedical part that autism brings to some but now has lived on wheat ever since being taken and they wonder why she is so hard to handle, not to mention what this is doing to her insides but she belongs to Jesus and I pray faithfully for his protection around her. She came with a purpose from the start. I knew she was strong just by her strength & will to live. She had many obstacles in the beginning like the heart monitor stopped showing her heart had stopped beating but it started quickly on it's own. She was one of the favorite's in the ICU as I will always remember her doctor came to me and said "Linda your baby is beautiful." and I said "Oh I bet you say that about all the babies." and she said "No, they are pretty but ....... is beautiful~!! Do you know how much my heart stood out. She came home fighting as she had many hospitalizations for pneumonia  twice, then needed glasses @ 18 mos. due to the optometrist saying she was classified as legally blind. Then @ 19 mos. she was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy after a MRI so then came more hospital visits with the roto virus, dehydration and a fever. Then came heel & cord lengthening of ankles so she could walk flat on her feet. as the years past she had 4 eye surgeries due to weak muscles & P.E. tubes placed 4x in her ears due to infections. She again became ill and was hospitalized once again. She went through a period of intense vomiting later to discover the intolerance to wheat & gluten. She had a lot of physical therapy, speech (due to speech delay) and occupational therapy to teach her how to use a fork & spoon and learn to feed herself. She was such a happy go-lucky child and never had a care in the world, this I admired greatly in her. Once we were out to eat and she left our table and walked over to a table with a elderly couple the man on oxygen and as I came up behind her she laid her tiny hand upon the mans hand and said "It will be alright." as tears welled-up into the mans eyes he never spoke a word. His wife looked @ me and said "You got yourself a little angel there." I said "I know." This wasn't her only encounter to touch people's lives as she took to people like a duck does to water. She was very much a peacemaker and had a way to impact people for the better. When she was 3 yrs. old her speech pathologist said "Linda I think ...... has autism as I have many children I work with on the spectrum and she acts a lot like them." So I was yet on another quest to help my little girl so I got her into the Stanford University only to be told "No Linda, she does not have autism or cerebral palsy she is mildly mentally retarded." in the meantime Dr. Bernard Rimland who ran the autism institute in San Diego sent me a letter after me doing a online survey and said "She was autistic." but do to her social ability nobody would believe me. then sadly she was sexually abused by her biological father who was also autistic I now know and I had a nervous breakdown and she went into states care and was placed with a family who was out to get rich as I later found out she was making $1800 a month on her care. She was abused physically there as the foster father left a thumb print on her tiny arm and later admitted he was sorry. but something extraordinary happened there as she was touched by a angel, when she came home she told me the entire story @ 3 yrs. old how she was locked in this room for hours with a bed,TV. and video tapes only to watch but one day she said "Momma a beautiful lady named Darla came to play with me and she was so pretty and bright with color. She explained how "Darla" comforted her while she was scared and alone for days, hours @ a time. She explained everyday she would have contact when locked in this room. My belief is she belongs to Jesus and he looks after his children as he tells us in the bible so despite the tragedy she was given great joy & blessed. She even mentioned today in states care she asked me one day if I remembered Darla and I said "yes I do" and she said nothing more so I believe Jesus once again has given her his angel to cling to while away from her mommy. We moved to Wa. state after the abuse and finally at the University of Washington (autism clinic) and at the age of 7 yrs. old she was diagnosed properly with autism. She also encountered many psychiatric hospital stays but still manages to touch the lives of many all over places we have ventured. She and I have not seen each other in over a year due to one false report I pulled her by the arm but again I am not bitter as God has used everything for my good in teaching me to walk a closer walk in faith & trust for him so I have gained my achievement into his kingdom.  I have learned through this fiery trial when I forgive those who have hurt me & done me wrong they loose the power they once had over me and it brings me so much peace inside. God has showed me who he is through this and it leaves me very blessed. Unspeakable joy comes when we listen and live as Jesus expects of us. God has finally delivered me from such a tragedy to triumphantly live a glorious life even with something so dear to my heart he alone has taken away for me to see & focus on him.
                   Thank you Jesus for all you give & take away
                           There really are ANGELS among us~!!!                                

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