GOD, PLEASE BRING JUSTICE TO THIS CASE.

I visited my 14 yr. old on Sept. 6th 2011 she came very bitter, angry, agitated and downright disrespectful towards me. She said some very nasty thing's because she had a bad day @ school, she said and was tired of walking on her crutches from her broken ankle so she blew up @ me. Saying "I was the reason she was their due to my depression & I am depressed all the time." and then said "If you want to really know it wasn't the staff who told me to block you from facebook it was me who didn't want you on there, due to stuff you say." Then said "I didn't even want to come today." and the lady (Marriage,family, therapists kept saying Linda listen to .........." I was horrified as I was being humiliated by a 14 yr. old teenager they have spoiled & basically let her do as she pleases. She then said "She never listens to me." and last she said "And I'll just tell you I don't want to come home." and the therapist's asks her do you want to end the session (15 minutes in) and she replied "Yes." I got up and said "I am not doing this 2x a month for the next 4 years so I'll see you when your 18 and left in tears. I drive 40 minutes each way to see her, live below poverty level so gas is always a issue, just had neck surgery, have a bladder problem must be fixed so I crap all the time and due to a ticket I got for speeding and didn't appear due to I was in the hospital having my gallbladder out so I forgot all about it, they suspended my license and dropped my insurance so if stopped my car would be impounded and I might go to jail but that's how much my kid means to me. I must mention I took her favorite candy, corn chips & bean dip & two bottles of different flavored water and let her pick first which she wanted and last visit I bought her clothes and never heard a thank you mom. She has Aspergers as well and not being treated for it as they don't believe it there where she lives so she will suffer as a teenager in high school not getting the social cues with friend's and being called a geek which has already happened. I wanted so badly to get my girls the services they deserved so they would not suffer as adults as I have and so this is where my depression was left untreated as I forgot about Linda and sacrificed myself to better help them and now my payback for 3 day's in the hospital was to lose custody of both girls 2 1/2 yrs. now and be alienated away from them as I have been. As my youngest 12 yrs. wants to see her mommy so bad it hurts her, as she tells me "I see the same moon, mommy as you see and I think of you." My attorney and autism doctor I have seen now 6 month's all think I should give up the fight as I do not have a chance to win them back. How can something so illegal and wrong go on in a place we call America, where others die in the desert just to come to for a better life ? This is my prison 
"AMERICA". Sometimes I even wonder if God does care and I am a devoted christian but I have not seen my youngest in almost a year and why would he allow such a thing ? (Forgive me Lord).
I am exhausted, tired, frustrated and sometimes just want to be so sedated I cannot feel. My older child has grown very bitter, angry, upset and even has made remarks like "I don't think I could ever come back to live with my sister." She is more affected with autism. I told her she worships the ground you walk on and if it was reversed I know she would not feel this way about you. I raised these girls with love, respect, and to give rather then receive and took them to church, taught them right from wrong and look what foster care can do to one's heart. I shall pray God will bring justice out of this and make thing's better for us then when we went into this mess as he promises in the bible.

                                                                 

Clinging onto HOPE & my heavenly savior JESUS CHRIST

Just as Jaycee Dugard the child stolen for 18 yrs. I to have to hold onto HOPE as that is all we have besides our precious girls that kept her going also keeps me going. As I watched her Primetime special it was amazing to see she really carries no bitterness in her heart & this is what were suppose to do for those who persecute us in every way they can as they will have a day to be judge by the highest judge of all our creator~!! It is shameful when they hide their secrets to the world but the Lord in heaven sees all~!! Pray for a world where it's Satan's playground right now but God is still the omega our beginning & end~!!

Psalm 37-12-13
The wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes at him with his teeth. The Lord laughs at him, for he sees his day is coming.

Last Tuesday July 5th 2011 my girls were on a "family visit" with their grandparent's & my oldest flew in from Seattle to see them as well & help with the youngest as both younger girls are also on the spectrum & since the county decided to stop the wheat & gluten free diet my youngest was strictly on for 5 yrs. she was a handful for all of them. I was not allowed to go & be around them because I have Aspergers~!!
You may not believe it's all because of  "Aspergers" but it absolutely is~!! Sadly our world is Satan's playground. So NOTHING should shock anyone. I want to explain the word (Neglect) and it's meaning out of a dictionary (To disregard, to pay little or no attention or respect. Leave unnoticed.) I spent the 1st 6 yrs. of my youngest life correcting all the thing's needed to be corrected due to her autism & cerebral palsy so she had 4 eye surgeries & the doctor told me Linda if the glasses don't stay on her face she'll need a 5th as the muscle will weaken, well guess what due to neglect in foster care she is never seen with her glasses on & now her eye is turning in, her behavior was almost uncontrollable when visiting her grandparent's due to the state taking her off her gluten/wheat free diet I had her on for 5 yrs. after countless hours on the computer researching what would make her better from vomiting & blood in her stool besides her off the wall behavior. More neglect  they call it stress from her phone calls with her momma because she has poop in her panties but I found out she is not using toilet paper after a bowl movement because in a FFA home the highest paid foster home nobody is helping this poor child. The dentist told my child if you don't brush those teeth were going to take off the braces but due to her sensory issues nobody cares about, they just let her do it all alone & say she lies saying she brushed them but didn't so her teeth are going to be rotten but they sure collect the money~!!!!!! Why are you getting paid so much if your not going to see to this special needs child's needs ?? Nobody will ever love or care for her like her mother~!!!!
A e-mail was sent out by me about how inappropriate it is for a adult male social worker to take the youngest more severely autistic out for trips for ice cream & then to fly alone with her, drive a hour alone in the car to my parent's, so explaining this in my e-mail and as it shocked my 80 yr. old father, I get routinely phone calls every Tuesday but because he got that e-mail we were ALL punished & did not receive it on Tuesday as I was suppose to. As I called later & my oldest stated the younger two were waiting by the phone as was I @ home but the call never came. This is very sad & against the law as they are court ordered~!! Not shocking as I have been alienated away from my youngest for 9 mos. now due to a falsified report~!! as my own mother asked her if her mother ever pulled her arm, she said "huh" and my daughter told her this is why they are not letting you see your mom, did she pull your arm and hurt you ? "NO" she replied~!! Also I was blocked from my 14 yr. old's facebook page 2-3 month's ago but I found out through a family friend their was a adult male posting on her page & is a employee where she lives but they did nothing so I again called the police like the first time when she was sexually assaulted & filed a report because they wouldn't. I pray everyday for these people (which I am kind enough not to mention~!!) As other's all over don't mind putting out their names of who in court was the corrupt judge, corrupt social worker's etc.... but I am not at all out for blood as I strive hard in my life to please GOD not people & their will be justice someday just not by me. God is my witness to it all. I have asked God despite all they do to overflow my heart with more love for those who persecute me as I want to be a living example of Christ. As I cling close to his word's in the bible & it sustains my strength.

Psalm 37-17-18
For the arms of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord sustains the righteous. The Lord knows the day's of the blameless, and their inheritance will be forever.

37-28
For the Lord loves justice, and does not forsake his godly ones.

We are given a "choice" by God on which way we choose are destiny and mine is going to be with a loving God in a beautiful place, where their will be no more pain, sorrow, broken heart's, tears and I will be their in complete "safety" with him so if this is God's will to live without "his children" for now then so be it and give him the glory as they belong to him anyways. I am @ peace with life & I am learning so much to prepare me for his kingdom. One thing I have learned is "I WAS HIS CHOSEN ONE" to be a God warrior to teach other's how to live in a fiery trial & get as close to God as you possibly can because it is HE that supplies all to each & every one of us. I even thank him for what has been done because I would not be who I am today without it. See God, knows every intricate part of our being so are needs are not a surprise to him & when you submit yourself unto him as broken & sincerely needing him he can do wonders to even just one. Life it's only really a journey when you turn it into one & the ride is better then any other ride you can imagine.

A faithful witness will not lie, but a false witness will utter lies   Proverbs 14-5

A false witness shall not be punished, and he that speaketh lies shall not escape. Proverbs 19-5

            May God bless all your day's ahead & give you all strength,wisdom,patience,peace & love~!!

                                                         God's girl Linda Souza

When a commissioner becomes a pansy & gives ALL discreation to social workers who damage families & discriminate~!!

It is so very sad when a man wearing a dark robe in a court of law 
to a department as social services to play the role of ultimate controller of ones life as myself.As Christ suffered so I must as well as I have already received the key's to the awesome kingdom I anxiously await. They may think their in all control but that is not the way my God assures my heart it will be. I am missing my children terribly but as the county testified since it's been 8 months she has not seen me they said we figured they would forget her. Well they won't for sure as I know I poured my life,body & soul into raising those girls so they now belong to Jesus and he will see the right thing is done despite all the wicked efforts they have made to alienate & turn my children against me but it will never happen. I sleep peacefully knowing my life is in the hands of my awesome creator & he promises if you endured a fiery trial you gain the crown of life and I have. It's sad a man of such authority on the bench that seems to have some compassion for me as a mother still allows the county so much control to continue alienating me from my precious girls despite my youngest packing everyday saying my momma is coming to get me as testified on 6-13-11 by the social worker how could such a human being God created act in this manner, simply because he chooses not to follow WWJD but I continue my prayers for them all. I will continue my hunger strike & walk in front of the court house with my hand made sign until justice prevails as my children nor do I deserve to be thrown away as if we meant nothing to society as one lady stopped Friday & said "Well gee if you have a drug or alcohol problem they roll out the red carpet & even pay for rehab & if you abuse your child you can even get help with anger management & then get the child back, but for a woman as you with a God given mild disability they don't even offer reunification services, this is nuts." So yes this is how the story went in a nutshell I was ordered by the court (Which I was told was illegal) to take 2 psy. evals. & was diagnosed with Asperger's (High functioning on the autistic spectrum.) I was 46 yrs. old but I had raised all 3 of my girls 27, 14, & 12 my entire life even through 2 divorces & awarded FULL CUSTODY in each divorce but because I wanted help for depression I got a 3-DAY hospital stay & 2 YEARS & 2 MONTHS of losing my girls simply as one county supervisor stated to me in a e-mail "Linda it's evident the county has got it in for you." Now on my 6TH LAWYER that none can't fight this case because it's a CIVIL LAWSUIT & I will never give up fighting to find a civil lawyer to help me & my girls. I spoke to 2 women in front of the court house who were both in foster care as children & both shared the psychological damage & abuse they suffered while in care has impacted their lives as grown women. If this commissioner would act like the man he should behind the bench my case would of been long over with a long time ago I believe. God please grant him the knowledge a man of power behind the bench he should have on behalf of my case because you know I do not dislike him he just needs your help with granting authority over my case~!! My oldest has been fighting from the start to gain custody of them if they won't return them to me but the children's attorney had the last word in the courtroom & she stated no need to worry about the interstate transfer of the youngest to another state as their is no family member @ this time who wants her. Lie,lie,lie is all these people seem to do as Amber the eldest child has been fighting since the beginging. So the bottom line if my family gets them they know I will gain access eventually so if they don't go with a family member the mother will NEVER have access or contact with them until there 18 because the county BOTH spoke of keeping the children in their placement's until the age of 18. Then they also fought so hard to not allow the doctor I am seeing 
( AUTISM SPECIALIST OF 30 YRS.) to be apart of any visits so as always they remain "ONE-SIDED" so they can continue to right up negative report's as they have for the past 2 yrs. so no matter how hard I try it will never be good enough for the county of SAN DIEGO~!! Corrupt system & sadly it will forever remain a corrupt system but someday they will all answer to their creator~!! They tried to make me believe my children have said "I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH MY MOTHER." I will never, ever believe their lies from the darkness~!! As court ended the social worker & supervisor grinned & smiled as if they had won the lottery but as she approached me in the hallway to discuss a visit before she could finish the sentence I said "HELL IS A VERY HOT PLACE"~!! and I went home & prayed for all of them. Last note my children are all flying into my parent's for a 4th of July a family reunion and as my attorney pleaded what is this mother going to do if she was allowed to go for a few hours the first worker said "It would confuse the children after not seeing her in 8 month's." & the second for my oldest said "There is great concern if the mother was to cut on herself or become very volatile we don't think the grandparent's or adult sibling could control the mother & this would frighten the children & I also believe it would confuse the children as well." My attorney said so basically since she has not seen the girls in 8 months you basically just want the girls to forget about their mom." They replied "Well yes." My attorney said "and this is your ploy to forfeit her parental rights as well I assume ? "Uh I'm not sure one responded." To end this for reader's that don't know the whole story I am just a helpless mom that has had her children kidnapped legally according to the county & alienated away from them almost a year just because I was diagnosed with Aspergers @ 46 yrs. old ONLY AFTER the girls were taken now I have been CONDEMNED to parent them again for the last 2 yrs. & 2 mos. they are now 12 & 14 and both have autism as well BUT I RAISED another daughter who is 27 YRS. OLD with no autism & I have a awesome bond with her as well.  This is the honest truth as I am a very dedicated christian women. Please pray for my family as GOD is STILL THE ONE IN TOTAL CONTROL & he promises I will come out of this trial better then when I went in so my hope & faith is there and I have grown in character, grace, faith, patience & love so this is not all in vain God has his ultimate plan & I am saved & ready for heaven and he loves my girls far more then I so he will get his glory out of all of this. God bless you all & thanks for your prayers.



                                       
                                       We must suffer as Christ has suffered ~!!

 

                                                                      

                             

A letter to GOD

Hello God,
Just checking in to tell you I prayed with my neighbor Ava's family like you asked of me and it felt good despite not even knowing them~! She checked out of this world this past mother's day weekend, theirs laughter coming from her apartment as they move things, I sure hope it's all because they know you. It's been a struggle because you know who has been trying to get me to feel depressed but I am not because if you can do for me what you've done and given me a better heart & soul deeper in love with you, then anything is possible. This fiery trial is only temporary and even if it goes by in years they go so fast cause I know your coming. I was blessed to be a mom as long as I was given and very thankful for that. My girls love me & you love them so much more I know!
I instilled good morals & important values & directed them to you, so now it's time for them to follow you by what they have learned from me & this brings me comfort. As the most important role I could of been given here on earth, being a mother was a very precious gift & even though my girls are not grown or with me @ this time it is your will they will blossom & grow in you I pray. I am blessed to be called by you, Lord & be one of your many warriors! Lot's of bad thing's happen to good people and I never understood until now. You use us for the ones who do not know what a wonderful, awesome God you are, we are teacher's without a degree but guided by the every best loving hand of a father I am so glad to know. If it weren't for your grace I could not be who I have become today~!! God it is my prayer, you'll not only look after and care for my girls but each and every child you gave as a gift from above. Forgive me God if there were times in my rush in life I did not pause to say thank you for all I have been given & even taken away. I am so happy for the unbelievable strength you have given for me to go on, and learn from my mistakes & never give the devil a hold but instead make him a footstool for my feet. I am who I am only because of your loving grace & all the times you carried me through the battlefield. Thank you God for choosing me & even in giving up something so dear to my heart, I have learned it's not what we love but how we love! Let my light shine for you God to glorify you & give wisdom to those that "no not what they do" and offer my teaching to all who want to listen & learn it's not about our trial but how we choose to walk through it and not to fear what is to come very soon. Thankful for the masterpiece you created in me.


                   Love to you, your precious child Linda


"You are a letter....written not with a pen and ink but with the spirit of the living God."    2 Corinthians 3:3  Niv

Faces of Victims of Family Court and Child Protective Services (3)

**Montanna's note to God**

WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING ? PLEASE HELP ME IF YOU CAN~!!

Please is anybody out their in this world that is willing & able to help me, like a ADA law attorney ? I am so frustrated as nobody seems to want to move in my direction. I am praying and I am trusting in God he will put together the right people but I feel so alone. Two years I have lost my girls and for what not because I use or abuse drugs & not because I am a lush and misuse alcohol & not because I have abused or left my girls unattended but you know what for simply because I have Aspergers and the department (Believes I have a issue with communicating with children I raised and understand more because I live with autism as well plus they just got it in for me because their not willing to be educated on autism~!! ) I have done NOTHING and I WAS A EXCELLENT MOM raising my girls in church, teaching them morals and good thing's to live by, setting a example in front of them the way a decent person should be~!! Why oh Lord, should I be singled out and picked on so harshly ? I have not seen my girls in 6 month's, did you all hear 6 month's I have been intentionally kept from my children~!!  This is parental alienating them from me so much my youngest asked my oldest daughter Amber 26 "Did momma die" now isn't that the way our system should be ? Yes I have a adult daughter 26 yrs. old I raised Alone. I am just beside myself in how they "get away with it all" you know why, because NOBODY has the gut's to stand up to them this is why~!! To anyone but especially to someone with "special needs" as myself & my girls just ripping us apart like they have has surely caused mental anguish within. The torment I have lived it's a nightmare I surely could have never made up, like a trip to Sea world my oldest flew out from Seattle and we had a hearing and the social workers had decided that my oldest could take the girls but I could not go, but then in fear of Amber letting me see the girls they put a older lady in charge to go with her just to make sure, my youngest was so excited about Sea world she came to me and said "Momma we get to go to Sea world but I'm sorry you can't come" now if this isn't cruel, oh but that's just the start of thing's. I begged to see my girls for Christmas, birthday's, any holidays but never in 2 yrs. did one such a visit take place. Then there was this visit I was en-route to and I had already stopped @ Wendy's and picked up food for them but was called driving on the way to the visit and told there is going to be "no visit today" when I questioned why he said "Just because" and hung up so I drove back home sobbing but they expect me to call 24 hrs. in advance if I was to not come to a visit. Then now 6 mos. without seeing them and this isn't the first time I was kept 3 mos. once before so a total of 9 month's in 2 years almost half of the time and again I am no mass murderer, nor did I ever hurt my girls, no alcohol or drug problems. ALL BECAUSE I AM MILDLY AUTISTIC & THEY JUST DON'T LIKE ME PLAIN & SIMPLE~!! THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE ??   
I went into the hospital for 3 day's for some mild depression, kicked out with no case plan and 2 yrs. later my children are still gone talk about a cruel & evil world. They knew I had a awesome relationship with my girls so they took and abused what mattered most my dignity as a parent, my relationship that meant so much to us all and separated all 3 of us in 3 different directions, yes neither child has ever been placed together and "if" they get a visit they pick the younger one up to sit on a bench & watch the older one play a basketball game now that's a fair & healthy visit for the siblings. I became homeless & was forced to live in my car for 5 months due to them who cared nothing for me or my children because with our broken state of California my kids bring in funds, funds for them to keep their job's~!! My own attorney even stated "They will reinstate your visit's because it's federal funding." Yes sadly like the bible say's money is the root of all evil .  So very, very sad human lives are used in this way and all the while my poor innocent children have been "victims" of the system, being abused in so many way's that they will emotionally carry the scars for good as the two same loving, caring & sheltered girls will come back very different~!! They have been even kept from family as my parent's and my oldest daughter have both tried countless times to get them. My parent's house was checked not once but twice and then my father was made to have fingerprints done twice because he has rheumatoid arthritis so is so bad his hands are crippled badly & it was very painful & even after that they claimed my parent's didn't fill out proper papers & dropped it. Then even though my oldest lived with me her entire life until 24 with her sister's they claim she can't handle their "special needs" even though she was so good with her sister's all their born lives, just another excuse because they want to make sure I never see or touch my girls again, HORRIFIC I say & this is the truth~!!   So all I can do is pray to my Holy merciful, loving, caring God and hope it is his will to reunite my family someday soon and as he promises to bring something out of evil for his good. 
One last thing "What better way to control a mother than to take full control of her children" this is the mind thinking of social services in my case for sure~!!