MY TRUST WILL BE AS DANIEL IN THE LYONS DEN (DANIEL CH 6 VERSE 16-24)

NOTHING will ever or can ever take the focus off my LORD as he is worthy to be praised even in the down times~!! TRUST was Daniel's greatest achievement as it will be mine~!! If we keep focused on Jesus and what he can and will do, he is a rewarded of those who search closely & follow tightly.
I am NOTHING without him, and I am so glad to give him praise as he controls ALL THINGS between heaven and earth. People can say things that are lies and have no value and as in the bible the Lord laughs as he can cast them down when he wants to. I am so happy to have found the peace, joy, happiness, stability I have found in all my savior freely gives~!! Do not let your heart be troubled he says and I will give you comfort and he surely does. Seeing people through the eyes of love as Jesus would see is a whole nether way to live. I feel no condemnation in my heart and live this way is so peaceful. I am eating healthier then I ever have, I am walking 4 miles a day and it will show and I am on a special regimen of vitamins & minerals that have done so much for my body. I sleep well and am the best I have ever been in my life @ 49 years of age. God is the master and if you let him he will make a masterpiece out of you. Despite any iniquities I may have Jesus shed his blood for me, to give me the life he wanted and knew I could have. So in all things big and small Jesus is at work behind the scene you just must hold tight to the trust in your heart in him and all will be well. I pray I can be a influence on someones life who wants to make a change they never thought possible in themselves but
                  with God all things are made possible~!!

                                       

MY HELPLESS AUTISTIC DAUGHTER IS BEING KEPT FROM HER MOMMY AGAINST HER WILL~!!

 My daughter who is my youngest daughter now age 13 is being kept from her mother illegally because she was legally KIDNAPPED from her mother from social services in San Diego, Ca.
 My daughter who has Autism, mild cerebral palsy & classified as mildly mentally disadvantaged.
It is heartbreaking for ANYONE who has a real heart & soul to watch this video I shot 2 yrs. ago when she first went in luckily she was moved to somewhat of a better home. In supervised phone calls she is so sad, misses her family something awful as you can hear it. I did absolutely NOTHING to deserve such a sentence, neither did my girls. I have a documented e-mail from a county attorney who supervises all the attorney's stating "All my attorney's have agreed you have not been treated fairly" & "It does seem the county has it in for you." Then another attorney I hired on my own who has Aspergers herself said in a report "This is the county playing  KEEP AWAY from the mother." and
"This is now a ADA issue, due to the mother's disability." Because I am very high functioning Aspergers only diagnosed AFTER my girls were kidnapped by the county. I want my story to go public as they have just told my adult 27 yr. old daughter who two sisters can't be in her wedding 4-14-12 that she told them over 7 months ago but when my oldest asked "what do you have against my mom she can't be here with her sisters ?"  His reply was "Nothing physical but she's emotional."
This is just a game of control & money the government gets from federal funding~!!!

**UPDATE** 1-10-12
In court this morning I was denied another attorney I asked for it would of been my 8th but I told the commissioner why, and his response was "As I told you once before Ms. Souza I think you articulate & intelligent enough to act as your own attorney, see back in June."  (BUT GET THIS)
Social services is saying " Linda is severvely mentally ill. " so if this was truth so I cannot parent but they want me to act as my own attorney. TALK ABOUT BLATANT DISCRIMINATION~!!
I got it all documented so now I have contacted the media~!!!! 





                                           http://youtu.be/9K_Lv26vbhk  

Learning through Gods beauty & grace how to take care of ME ~!!

Gods beauty is such a gift as I ponder and watch the sun hit the ocean you can almost hear a hissing sound as a reward for watching it set. These are my passion with my gift of photography I was blessed to be given by my awesome savior Jesus Christ. He gives freely to those who will accept his gift as I have found true unconditional love. I am on a journey and the ride has never meant as much as it does today because I was lucky enough to be given a second chance to lift my sail. I am thriving living & loving all this world has to offer. I am never broke with the amount of love in my heart I have daily from him who gives it. 
All I had to do was open my eyes to see beyond what I thought was my purpose in life but he has shown me I am important to and I deserve to be loved and cared about by him. 
My life was changed on April 17th 2009 after losing custody of my girls for a 3-day hospital stay as my story is well-known now but in losing my life that day I found it since truly and it has been the greatest gift my savior and I share. My girls are not gone forever, my girls have a very clear picture of who I was as a mom. I did my job, probably to much so I now know as everyone is entitled to "me time" but I gave that up when I got married, had kids and later found out two have autism and despite living with it myself my entire life it was only after the girls were taken I was diagnosed @ 46 but I raised one adult child already now 27 but the world judges you this is the change I plan to make. My life was there's but in all that has happened it's been a good thing because like Job, God may take something away temporarily to get your attention for his purpose & eventually get the glory but he multiplies it 10 x over when he returns it back. I am satisfied with the work he has done with me and I may not be exactly where he wants me to be but I surely ain't where I used to be. Praise Jesus for that~!! In all this God took a aspie woman and transformed me into a wonderful person that I can even say now I love and fully accept because it's not "US" that has the problem it's the word who does not like "different" and that's just the way it is but like Temple Grandin I am somebody, someone I never knew I could even be but by the good graces of God I have now learned to love myself and treat my body as his precious temple as it should be treated. He won't disappoint, he doesn't leave me, he always forgives me, he always loves me despite my faults unlike the world. I have learned a lot through the constant teaching of Joyce Meyer & Joel Osteen two very gifted people who have the ability to share Gods word. It was in one of Joyce's teachings of "Taking care of yourself" a podcast I watched on my Ipad it was then it hit me when she said "You will get to a point of breaking down physically,mentally & emotionally if you don't take care of yourself" (because you were so busy of caring for others) and that is exactly what happened I needed some "me time" and so I am doing just that. 
I am walking 3 miles a day, eating better, sleeping more and I feel a bunch better already. 
I am keeping a thought in my head and replay it over and over to keep me focused.


"God, I know that today nothing can happen that you and I can't handle together."

In Galations 5-22 it say's :
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such things there is no law."


If we don't learn from his teachings then what good is it to even speak. I have learned so much from my heavenly father. I used to have a hard time with my mouth but self control has worked well when you really put it to use.
In Proverbs 17-22 he tells us "a joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Let him come live in you and your peace will be everlasting.

And always remember Romans 8-31
What then shall we say to these things ? If God is for us, who can be against us ?


Remember as well God has a perfect plan for each and everyone, you just must accept him.
Romans 8-28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good. For those who are called according to his purpose.

As my youngest says who loves Justin Bieber                                   
                 "NEVER SAY NEVER~!!"
Because with God all things are possible~!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                        

                                                                 

IT IS ONLY IN OUR TRIALS WE LEARN WHO TO BECOME

   I am the person who I have become today only by the good graces of Jesus Christ~!!
Despite what anyone want's to believe or chooses not to see, I have been transformed into what the Lord has wanted me to become for him. This is what matters in this life as we are to being living examples for him to help save souls. I can see renewal in me every single day and so darn proud of it. 

These are just a few :

1. I went over and prayed with my neighbor when her mother was passing away. I didn't know these people it was something I was led to do by the holy spirit and may her soul now rest with Jesus.

2. I have been a light in the world when there is none, like Christmas day I was walking my dog and a lady was digging in the garbage for cans. I stopped and said "Merry Christmas, don't forget Jesus loves you and he even provides the cans that help you." She replied "Yeah, food, food I buy food." so as I continued walking two young adult men were outside and one replied "Merry Christmas" and I said "Merry Christmas, Jesus loves you." He said "Sometimes" and I replied back "No all the time." He said "Yeah, just kidding" I may not impact everyone but I try and this pleases God.

3. I went to the beach this summer and parked as I do backed in to watch the sunset. A man was walking down the strip and his shirt said "Jesus love you" so he came over to my car and asked me "do you know Jesus as your personal savior." I said "Well yes I do." then he replied "are you afraid to tell everyone." "I replied absolutely not." He then said "Then let's go, get out of your car and let's go tell everyone." So I did, walked up and down the strip telling strangers (Gods children) do you know Jesus loves you. It was great as most accepted with a "thank you" and some did nothing, but none were negative. There was one out of the entire bunch who started to cry and we prayed with her. I was filled with so much joy it was incredible.

4.One day I was in Escondido and had gone to a doctors appointment but was waiting on another appointment so I stopped into a McDonald's to get a bite and check my mail on my phone. As I was in line I wasn't sure what I wanted so I stepped aside allowing the other person to go first. The black lady proceeded but asked me if I wanted a egg mc muffin as they were two for $350 so I wasn't sure what to say, she again asked saying I won't eat them both. So I agreed and not having much cash wanted to pay her for mine but I only had .72 cents on me as I use my debit card. So I handed her it she said "I don't want your money." but I insisted, so she took it. I ordered me a drink and payed for it. As we waited a thought came into my head "Ask her if she has anyone to eat with." so I did and she said "Sure." we sat down and as I like to pray for my food, I kindly asked her if she'd care if I prayed. She was excited and said "yes please." So I did we continued to eat and I noticed her badge said "Joan ......social worker" and I thought glory to God, this is a test and I am going to pass it. We talked and I shared my story, she briefly told me she didn't work for the county anymore 12 yrs. was enough as she saw horrible things and due to not removing enough kids she was rep-remanded so she is doing a job for God, a medical social worker helping families when their loved ones are dying. So she needed to get back to work and I was so glad I was glorifying Jesus in the test he had given me to pass. She told me I communicated very well to her. I just need to please Jesus, not people as in this delights him.

5. One night I was hit from behind and as a police officer arrived we talked then he passed me off to his supervisor and as he was trying to explain to me about why it wasn't considered a hit and run even though she did not stop and exchange information, I wasn't getting it. So I said to him excuse me officer I am not dumb, I just have Aspergers which in processing some things is hard for me could you re-explain it and to my surprise he did after saying "My 10 yr. old son has this and we have lived with him since 5 trying to understand it better, so I take the time for him h needs me to listen or explain." I was in shock the concern, patience and compassion officer Blackwell had with me just because he has lived with a son who has it so it made him far more understanding, more patience, more compassion, better acceptance for a adult as myself. Now this is what this world needs is ACCEPTANCE, COMPASSION,PATIENCE, & UNDERSTANDING~!! Our world could be such a better place to live and be apart of.

Thanks be to Jesus for helping me in growing in Character, patience with people, love, humility, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, trust, grace and all you want me to be, to be a living, breathing example of you and what you want me to share with others. Thank you for this trial that has made me grow in all areas you have wanted me to grow. I am who you created me to be and darn proud of it~!! I give you all the glory be to God, wonderful, creative, master of this universe and world.  

                                                                       

~SHE BELONGS TO JESUS~ Preemie with a purpose

                                    Precious child belongs to God.

  This is my youngest daughter her name is being withheld due to state's policy while in protective custody from me. I am just a mom who was diagnosed with Aspergers @ 46 yrs. of age and went into the hospital for depression for 3-days. It has now been 2 1/2 yrs. later and she is still gone. She turns 13 yrs. old Dec 11,11 and is greatly loved & missed. This child came home to me on Christmas day 12-11-98 weighing 4 pounds after a 12-day stay in ICU @ Santa Barbara's cottage hospital and was a Christmas blessing. Her tiny hand print forever stays on the wall of the ICU unit with many others. I am not bitter at social services for they do what they feel is right, sadly they don't understand autism very well as I have tried to share as much info as possible to better inform them. My little girl was on a GF/CF diet that helped her recover in many ways from the biomedical part that autism brings to some but now has lived on wheat ever since being taken and they wonder why she is so hard to handle, not to mention what this is doing to her insides but she belongs to Jesus and I pray faithfully for his protection around her. She came with a purpose from the start. I knew she was strong just by her strength & will to live. She had many obstacles in the beginning like the heart monitor stopped showing her heart had stopped beating but it started quickly on it's own. She was one of the favorite's in the ICU as I will always remember her doctor came to me and said "Linda your baby is beautiful." and I said "Oh I bet you say that about all the babies." and she said "No, they are pretty but ....... is beautiful~!! Do you know how much my heart stood out. She came home fighting as she had many hospitalizations for pneumonia  twice, then needed glasses @ 18 mos. due to the optometrist saying she was classified as legally blind. Then @ 19 mos. she was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy after a MRI so then came more hospital visits with the roto virus, dehydration and a fever. Then came heel & cord lengthening of ankles so she could walk flat on her feet. as the years past she had 4 eye surgeries due to weak muscles & P.E. tubes placed 4x in her ears due to infections. She again became ill and was hospitalized once again. She went through a period of intense vomiting later to discover the intolerance to wheat & gluten. She had a lot of physical therapy, speech (due to speech delay) and occupational therapy to teach her how to use a fork & spoon and learn to feed herself. She was such a happy go-lucky child and never had a care in the world, this I admired greatly in her. Once we were out to eat and she left our table and walked over to a table with a elderly couple the man on oxygen and as I came up behind her she laid her tiny hand upon the mans hand and said "It will be alright." as tears welled-up into the mans eyes he never spoke a word. His wife looked @ me and said "You got yourself a little angel there." I said "I know." This wasn't her only encounter to touch people's lives as she took to people like a duck does to water. She was very much a peacemaker and had a way to impact people for the better. When she was 3 yrs. old her speech pathologist said "Linda I think ...... has autism as I have many children I work with on the spectrum and she acts a lot like them." So I was yet on another quest to help my little girl so I got her into the Stanford University only to be told "No Linda, she does not have autism or cerebral palsy she is mildly mentally retarded." in the meantime Dr. Bernard Rimland who ran the autism institute in San Diego sent me a letter after me doing a online survey and said "She was autistic." but do to her social ability nobody would believe me. then sadly she was sexually abused by her biological father who was also autistic I now know and I had a nervous breakdown and she went into states care and was placed with a family who was out to get rich as I later found out she was making $1800 a month on her care. She was abused physically there as the foster father left a thumb print on her tiny arm and later admitted he was sorry. but something extraordinary happened there as she was touched by a angel, when she came home she told me the entire story @ 3 yrs. old how she was locked in this room for hours with a bed,TV. and video tapes only to watch but one day she said "Momma a beautiful lady named Darla came to play with me and she was so pretty and bright with color. She explained how "Darla" comforted her while she was scared and alone for days, hours @ a time. She explained everyday she would have contact when locked in this room. My belief is she belongs to Jesus and he looks after his children as he tells us in the bible so despite the tragedy she was given great joy & blessed. She even mentioned today in states care she asked me one day if I remembered Darla and I said "yes I do" and she said nothing more so I believe Jesus once again has given her his angel to cling to while away from her mommy. We moved to Wa. state after the abuse and finally at the University of Washington (autism clinic) and at the age of 7 yrs. old she was diagnosed properly with autism. She also encountered many psychiatric hospital stays but still manages to touch the lives of many all over places we have ventured. She and I have not seen each other in over a year due to one false report I pulled her by the arm but again I am not bitter as God has used everything for my good in teaching me to walk a closer walk in faith & trust for him so I have gained my achievement into his kingdom.  I have learned through this fiery trial when I forgive those who have hurt me & done me wrong they loose the power they once had over me and it brings me so much peace inside. God has showed me who he is through this and it leaves me very blessed. Unspeakable joy comes when we listen and live as Jesus expects of us. God has finally delivered me from such a tragedy to triumphantly live a glorious life even with something so dear to my heart he alone has taken away for me to see & focus on him.
                   Thank you Jesus for all you give & take away
        

                           There really are ANGELS among us~!!!                                
                                            

                                                                 

** DAUGHTER & MOTHER **

  A daughter is the most precious gift a mother could ever imagine to have the chance to raise, mold, share & love within a lifetime.
I am so proud of what my oldest Amber Nicole has become and what she stands for~!! I raised her with Godly moral values and she has used them throughout her life. I molded her to follow after Jesus and live for him and to appreciate his life and what he laid down for her and she has. We have shared many memories of love, laughter & joy so much so it became tears of much happiness~!! The love Amber always showed & carried deep within her heart for others has made her into the lovely fine women she is today. She was such a blessing the day she arrived on 6/24/84 I was elated and so happy to be a mom @ 21 and Amber & I grew very close as I was a single mom early on in her young life. She was the apple of my eye & my best friend~!! She was so easy to guide into the strong, achievable women she has now become. She has overcome many obstacles herself but never has shown or attracted any attention to her, as she has always been strong in serving others~!! I am so proud to call Amber my daughter and the respect she has shown for me over the years I will absolutely value for years to come. She is one incredible sweet young lady with much personality & a giving heart. She is getting ready to get married and start a new and exciting life and all I want for her is the very best in lots of happiness in this life as she and I will forever have a unbreakable bond so I have no worries. Amber I have always admired your strength, love, & being the most gracious child I have ever known~!! Thanks for all the emotional support you have embraced me with all my life but especially during this trial. I love you so much my dear daughter and will forever be proud of you for all you do, what you've become & who you are~!!
                                Your Momma
                                               
 Relationship of Mother and Daughter                                          
                                                       
You can see it in their eyes,
in tender hugs and long good-byes,
a love that only moms and daughters know.

You can see it in their smiles,
through passing years and changing styles,
a friendship that continually seems to grow.

You can see it in their lives,
the joy each one of them derives,
in just knowing that the other one is there...

To care and to understand,
lend an ear or hold a hand,
and to celebrate the memories they share.
                                        

I SEE THE MOON

 I see the moon and the moon sees me, and the moon sees somebody I want to see. God bless the moon and God bless me and God bless the somebody I want to see. God looked down from up above and picked you out for me to love, He picked you out from all the rest, cause he knew that I loved you the very best, I see the moon and the moon sees me and the moon sees somebody I want to see, God bless the moon and God bless me and God bless the somebody I want to see.

                                                                             (Their Momma )    
 
         This is dedicated to my two precious girls that have been kidnapped and kept from me to the point it's affected them & me in every way possible. As my youngest affected with autism and cerebral palsy tells me, momma I see the same moon you see and it gives her comfort at the very least. I pray constantly God will turn thing's around so we can be reunited as a family again as none of us deserved this inhumane treatment of human being's who live in America~!!