Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Sia - Never Give Up (Official Video) This movie brought hope to my soul.

This movie helped me decide I cannot stress for my daughter to remember where her roots came from. It gave me great hope praying God will open her heart to search for her first real true biological ties she was taken away from & was forced to learn different. God bless & keep you my darling Montanna Arianna Souza. I will NEVER GIVE UP~!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 13, 2017


****** UPDATE ******

I got my precious daughter back AFTER 6 years in the system. I was lucky in some matter but we today are both in therapy 2x a week for severe P.T.S.D. the scars trapped in my daughter's mind of the abuse she went through still 8 years later plague us with memories that cause depression,sadness & extreme stress to manage moving our lives forward. THANK GOD,my precious daughter was not murdered, beaten or left to starve to death but being a survivor of domestic violence myself sometimes the bruises are not as bad as the daily words used to push your self esteem so deep down you just can't get back up. We, just like millions of other families have gone through loose there children not because there bad parents but because this is what Bill Bowen said before his death "She was a special needs child, in CPS lingo, meaning she was worth over $6,000 per month to CPS in Oregon in federal funds. CPS Oregon continued drawing that $6,000 plus per month long after that child was dead." My 2 autistic girls were autistic now I know why I was never returned my girls until after the oldest turned 18 but sadly she was so brainwashed we have had no contact in 5 yrs. she was 2 days shy of turning 12 she will turn 20 in April (If she is still alive.) My youngest was 10 and now 18 and with me but we both still struggle. She was tortured by fear and lives in it EVERY SINGLE DAY~!!!!!! CPS is a rich federal run government agency that will NEVER CEASE to die themselves~!! I move on each day by the thankfulness my youngest is back in my arms but for others there not as fortunate and my prayers are with you all.

www.aspiemomto3girls.blogspot.com is my story and I was held in contempt for this blog, going to jail a week for not taking it off the internet 8 years later it still remains and both my daughters cases are now closed because there over 18 the State of California are not paid the $6,000 or more a month~!!!!!


Thursday, September 15, 2016


I am writing this blog per requested by my 17 yr. old autistic daughter Shellbe. She wants to do a shout out & say a prayer to her idol & role model SELENA GOMEZ.

Shellbe got tickets to her revival tour because her mom found some on a special site called "Be neighborly Kirkland" where we live in Washington. Shellbe was a victim of kidnapping & abuse at the hands of CPS & there ability of power. She was abused and kept from her mother for 6 years. So now that were happily together and moving on, Shellbe never got to do anything fun, while others in the homes went to Disneyland & such she was made to stay home. So this was my treat despite living below poverty I wanted Shellbe to experience life. So I found out Selena was coming to Seattle and got these cheap seats way up high but it was for her & it was her very first concert. Since the concert in May 2016 Shellbe has become very upset over the recent news of Selena being sick. She researches everything, so she looked up Lupus and asked me can she die from this, I said only if Jesus wants to take her. Shellbe shared with me, that inspired her to want this blog written. She only reads at a 1st grade level and can only write her name but she has a lot to say in that brain of hers. She told me "Mom you know that song Selena sing's 14 karat, well she is worth that and more in God's eyes huh." I said "Of course." She said "That's why I like her as my role model, does she know she is worth more then 14 karat's to God ?" "I hope & pray she does." I responded. "Can I send her a tweet and tell her I am proud of her & praying for her, mom ?" Shellbe asked. As I sat quietly, I watched the wheels turning in her head and a few moments later Shellbe said "Mom, can I tell Selena how much I am praying for her and want everyone else to do the same?" "Yes I replied to her." About 30 minutes went by and she returned to me and stated "Mom I found this scripture for Selena, can you put it in the blog so she can read it, then she will know how much God is taking care of her." "Sure I said, with a cheerful smile." Selena here is her scripture she wants you to read. "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24 Shellbe knows what she is talking about because Shellbe was touched by a angel in foster care 2 times. Now even though she said she was afraid of her wings, she noted the angel was beautiful & wanted to comfort her by asking to hug her. Now a lot of you may not believe but I do because she was non-verbal the first time it happened but told me everything including her name, well years later in another abusive situation the very same angel with the same name came again to comfort her while she was alone in foster care. God does love us all and has "his way" of keeping us safe & protected. Selena, there is one last thing Shellbe wants you to know. She took a picture by your big poster's at the concert and your hanging on her pink walls in her bedroom. Now she doesn't have but a couple of friends and has never looked up to someone she didn't really know but you impacted her life by just being who you are as an example, so as her mom I thank you for that. Take care of your health priority and move on from the lost soul JB as you are far more worth 14K and don't forget it~!!!!!! Blessings my friend.
                        Love you, Linda & Shellbe


Tuesday, July 26, 2016

A letter to my darling daughter, MONTANNA ARIANNA SOUZA

Well today is another day as in everyday. I am heartbroken to share that it has been almost 4 yrs. since my middle daughter has had "no contact" with her immediate family, her mother and two sisters. The case of CPS kidnapping my two younger girls at 10 & 12 are both now 17 & 19. I got my youngest back but the middle child whom has Aspergers as well was soooo brainwashed it is unbelievable this can be done to a young brain but let me assure you it can because I am now living this hellish nightmare of now almost 2 yrs. since their cases were closed. My precious daughter is so affected she believes I am the perpetrator. She did send me a recent message on facebook using someone elses account. She tore me down degrading me as a terrible mother and then explains why she is using her dead father's last name whom sexually abused her. She stated "I almost didn't get into college because of you as there was no record of me as Montanna Souza, so I was told I had to use his last name Epps." Look him up he is on the internet still to this day despite being dead he was a registered sex offender. 
               My beautiful, lovely girl, Montanna Arianna Souza
See I gave the court in San Diego the stamped court document from Washington state court. I had legally changed both the girls names long before the CPS case ever happened. It was stamped with a seal from the court but the crooked system led her to believe this was not true another way to pit her against me. People understand even through a divorce or any other means there are two sides to tell the children lies or truth about one parent or another you're children then believe one of those sides,there young and vulnerable as there just children!
Also it doesn't help when there are family members just as wicked as the social workers who try and stray your child the wrong direction which in this case of mine has recently happened. A niece of mine Jennifer Gates who is a LVN a hospice nurse of all things, she to has issues with alcohol, sexual addictions and is reaping what she sowed as a parent now. She has the demented brain & no heart to influence my daughter in such a negative way to believe I am the no good for nothing mother. All the time when my girls were out of my life trapped by foster care. I was a mother to her own son who has a serious drug problem due to the way she raised him. He listened to me and had the desire to follow the Lord and wanted to be a asset to society. I gave him birthday money, bought him $50 shoes and loved him as if he were my own. Jennifer just beat the crap out of her own mother 59 yrs. old due to her own mother allowing abuse by boyfriends to her growing up but again all hear-say Jennifer is known to be a drama queen but in any fact you don't use such RAGE on a elderly person like that when you care for those kind of people as your job~!!! Montanna use your own knowledge, don't follow sheep headed for slaughter, go big & be strong!

                                                    My awesome graduate, Yeah~!!!  

  This daughter of mine, I am so proud of all your accomplishments and I pray that you find it in a small piece of your heart to give me some kind of credit for why & how you got where you are today. Sure you did all the work but Montanna it was I that raised you and molded you into who you are today. It's those small examples I taught you along the way of growing up. Feeding the homeless women at McDonalds when you wondered why, (To teach you to be more like Jesus.) Getting you and sister a happy meal then sitting you in front of the t.v. to watch a talk show of homeless children eating from a garbage can while you ate McDonalds (to teach you appreciation for your life.) Remember our trip back from Florida and stopping off in Oklahoma at an Indian store and at the age of 4, you wanted these colored stones and I said "No, put them back." and we left, 20 miles down the road you show me those very stones you stole from that store and Mom turned her van around and drove back to that store and made you apologize and return them. The store owner thanked me saying "We don't see many mother's like you." I was ALWAYS there for you my dear, you know this as truth~!!!

  Montanna, you have grown into an amazing 19 yr. old women and very smart indeed and if I never get credit for nothing it's still OK as I believe I did what every mother should do in raising a child, sacrifice there life for there own child and I did that~!! A word of wisdom dust off that bible with your name engraved on it I gave you for your 16th birthday and take the time to study it as God's message for our souls is deep and he will guide you to where he wants you to be, not where I want you to be or anybody else. Your so intelligent nothing can interfere with the knowledge you were blessed with unless you allow the enemy to bring you down. Be your OWN kind of beautiful. Be pure in your heart. Drive your desires all the way to the goal line. Learn, breathe, love, share & care with all the PASSION you can muster up from within. Sweetheart the enemy comes in to kill, steal & destroy don't let him get a foothold upon your life. Chase every dream & desire with an attitude of grace & peace from your heavenly father. His way's are where he wants you to go. You are a young women now and the roads ahead are rocky you must use great knowledge in which road YOU choose to go. I believe in you my love, you got this, so go after it~!!

                      Were always here for you & love you more then you know.
                                             Mom, Shellbe & Amber Souza